I'm Wide Awake
by AllItTakesIsASmile
Summary: "I would never get those years back. But the years to come will be the ones to look forward to."


**Chapter 1: The Flight**

I sat tense and uncomfortable on one of the many supposedly comfortable black leather chairs that filled the American Airways aeroplane. There was a deafening ringing in my ear drums as baby's screamed their heads off and old couples bickered to each other furiously, complaining about anything and everything.

But this was how I liked it; it made me feel much more normal to be with people, regular people. It was worth the now head throbbing headache that was currently pounding against my skull. I preferred the loud and mostly annoying noises of the people around me compared to the emptiness and loneliness of a private jet.

I sat there, in my seat in awkward silence as the passengers who passed down the aisle did double takes once they saw my face. Each time this happened I blushed a little. I had always hated unwanted attention; even once I cured my stage fright I didn't like people giving me more attention than was worth. I was told repeatedly by my manager that this was stupid seeing as I was one of the most famous singer/songwriters in the world, but that was just me. I hadn't changed much at all since leaving hell. I was much more confident in my ability's but I was no were near cocky or egotistic.

Of course, my fashion sense had improved dramatically according my manager, although personally I still preferred the floral squirts and colourful tops that I used to wear as a teenager, that I used to wear when I went to hell. At the very thought of it I stiffened impossibly more on the chair that would become my own personal doom over the next five hours of this flight as I left sunny LA to Miami, back to the place I swore I would never return, to the place that tormented my teenage life.

I shifted awkwardly in my seat, waiting in blissful yet tortured silence for take-off. Why I had decided to return to such a horrific place was beyond me, but I was deeply regretting getting talked into it by Marisa. My wonderful manager who thought that _this_ would be an amazing idea and a wise career move. I extremely doubted that and her idiocy made even me question her brain size sometimes. Saying that though, she had played a massive role in helping me get my big break and guide me successfully through the 'hardships' that came of becoming famous. Although there were no real hardships, sure the paparazzi could be very annoying and rude but other than that I had an extremely good life to be thankful for. I had three meals a day, nothing about me had changed, I was still my cute and slightly dorky self, I had a wonderful apartment with more than enough space. But best of all I had the best career in the world simply because I was surrounded by music every day. My record label loved my sweet and honest image and saw me as a figure of inspiration for kids and they would rarely ever criticize a song. There are so many more people out there that need encouragement to keep going and there are so many kids that barely get one meal a day.

I was snapped out of my reverie at feeling movement from beside me. I turned my head to see a flash of ginger and it didn't take long for me to recognise who this was.

He was none other than Dez, I would also say his last name but he was known to all by Dez. Everyone knew Dez, he was and still is the world greatest director and I was hoping to get him to film one of my latest music videos. But sadly his genius is well known and very highly sought after leaving me at the long line of names on his waiting list.

The ginger is famous for being incredibly care free and very easy-going. He is said to be on the crazy side of life but that's what drew me to him. I love people like that because they never judge you.

"You must be Ally Dawson." Dez' voice came out of nowhere, bringing me out of my thoughts. I realised I must have been staring and immediately my cheeks turn into a shade of deep crimson and I attempted to use my long and straightened brunette hair to cover it, but my attempt was unsuccessful seeing as Dez had commented on it.

"It's alright." He said, causing me to breathe a sigh of relief. "You can stare all you want. But I'm afraid you'll never get these freckles, plus it's a lot to pull off, I don't think you could handle it." He added, allowing me to experience his rumoured to be crazy mind. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion before smiling and shaking my head slightly.

"Well I know who you are." I replied, not really sure where this conversation was going.

"What can I say, I'm an attractive guy. Plus I'm a really cool."

"Riiiiight." I said in return, before adding. "I was going to say I know who you are seeing as you are the best video director in the world."

"Oh... well, there is that too." I, for the second time today, smiled and shook my head slightly at the crazy ginger. Dez then decided to entertain himself with the mini TV on the back of the chair.

"This is so cool." Dez giggled in delight as he pushed random buttons. In the end he pressed a button that showed you the pilot view from the cockpit. "OMG! I'm flying this plane. OKAY! No need to panic people, I have everything under control." Dez yelled to the plane at large and once again began to fiddle with the screen in front of him.

The passengers were not fazed by this and completely ignored the director. I sighed peacefully, before turning my head to face the the front, away from the now ecstatic ginger.

"Please buckle yourselves in as we are about to take-off. Please remain in your seats during take-off. Thank you very much." The deep male voice of the pilot was cut off as his request was obeyed by every passenger, aside from Dez who looked like he had never seen a seat belt in his life.

"How does it work?" He asked the slightly confused and very scared passenger to his left.

"Here, let me help you." I said. I buckled him in, like a parent would do to their five year old child. He immediately began to tug on the black fabric that hugged his hips and stomach.

"I'm trapped. OMG, I'M TRAPPED!" He yelled in panic and fear.

"Calm down Dez. It's alright, you can take it off in 20 minutes." I told him smoothly, placing a hand on his shoulder in comfort. Dez stopped tugging at the belt and looked at me gratefully.

"Thank you Ally, I thought I'd be trapped forever."

"It's no problem Dez." I replied with a smile tugging at my lips and I had to work hard not to laugh. He really is different. He began to play with the screen again, pretending to fly the plane.

I sighed once again and closed my eyes. I felt the plane move and my heart sped up a little out of fear. I wasn't afraid of flying, although I still felt that if we could fly we'd have been born with wings, but seeing as I flew almost all the time it never scared me like it used to.

_**Flashback**_

"_Daddy! I don't want to go. Don't make me go, please Daddy. I promise I'll be good if I can stay here." I sobbed, sounding desperate and a little hopeful. "Please don't leave me Daddy." I whispered. The tears pouring from my eyes like a river._

"_I'm so sorry honey, but you have to. I wish, more than anything for the both of us to stay here, but we can't." My Dad replied sounding pained and fearful. "Be good sweetie. Don't let anyone, and I mean anyone hurt you. Because you're my baby girl and I love you more than anything. Please remember that." He stopped speaking to bring me into his warm embrace. My tears soaking his t-shirt. I felt three splashes of water on my almost bare shoulder, and I was now aware that he was crying also. This scared me more than anything, seeing as my Dad never cried._

"_I love you pumpkin. And I always will. Never forget that." Where the last words he ever said to me. They came out muffled from the crying and it cracked, as if it pained him to say these words. _

_I felt someone tug my shoulder as I was pulled out of my father's hug. Someone was dragging me away from the only person I ever loved, someone was taking him away from me. But I allowed them, his voice ringing in my ears;_

'_Be good sweetie.' I would not disobey him now, I can't let him down. So, I did not thrash around, I did not scream. I simply let the tears roll down my cheeks and I whispered softly to the room at large, hoping... no, praying that my Dad would hear._

"_I love you Daddy. I'll be waiting for you." And with that I saw one last glimpse of him, waving at me, with a sad smile gracing his lips. He stood tall and proud in his army uniform, but it did not reach his facial features._

_**End Flashback **_

That was the last I ever saw of my father, Lester Dawson.

**So, what do you think? Please, please, please review. Thank you so much for reading,**

_**- **__**AllItTakesIsASmile**_


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